Schadenfreude Pie (Insert Maniacal Laughter Here)

Wikipedia defines Schadenfreude (pronounced shah-den-froy-da) as  a feeling of joy or pleasure when one sees another fail or suffer misfortune. It’s a dark and heavy emotion, which can come in quite handy when attending the 50th birthday celebration of a friend:) I’m not a jerk, I’m just not 50 yet (but almost).  This is more of a savory pie, both dark and bittersweet, with quite a bit of heft. It’s both dense and heavy.  Just like Schadenfreude. I attribute this pie to John Scalzi over at Whatever. The original posting is from 2006 and sent along to me by Alicia:) Thank you.

The crust:

Pre-made 9 or 10 inch graham cracker pie crust. I recommend 10 inch as you will have leftover filling if you choose the 9 inch crust.

Dark, heavy, bittersweet and tasty. Suffer, you!

Dark, heavy, bittersweet and tasty. Suffer, you!

The filling:

1 cup dark brown sugar

1 cup dark corn syrup

1/2 cup molasses

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted

1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips or chunks

3 large eggs

2 tsp. cinnamon

1-2 splashes Kahlua or other coffee liqueur

Pre-heat oven to 375 F. In a large mixing bowl add melted butter, corn syrup, molasses, brown sugar and cinnamon. Mix well. Melt chocolate and blend into syrup mixture. Add eggs and coffee liqueur; blend until mixture has smooth consistency. Pour mixture into your pie crust. Smile in sinister fashion.

Place on center rack in oven, bake for about 45-50 minutes. At 45 minutes, poke pie with butter knife. If it comes out clean, pie is ready; otherwise give it five more minutes.

Once pie is out of oven, let it set about 20 minutes if you are desiring to eat right away. When I took it out of the oven, it actually looked like it was breathing. It freaked me out a little.

John’s rec (and I agree) is that this be eaten in small slices. It’s really rich and very heavy, and you’ll regret eating a large slice. And this would make me happy:) Have with a scoop of ice cream or a large glass of cold milk for maximum joy.

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The worlds easiest cheesecake pie recipe…in the world

A couple of weeks ago, I was in a Dollar General Store. Dollar General has all kinds of discounted stuff; housewares, furniture and (surprisingly good) food. While I was perusing snacks for the kid’s school lunches I found brand-name, pre-made graham cracker pie crusts. As I stared and thought about what I could do with them, an elderly woman approached me and said, “you could use those to make the worlds easiest cheesecake pie.” An easy cheesecake pie? Do tell!

The crust!:

1 pre-made graham cracker pie crust

The filling!:

1 and a half blocks of cream cheese (at room temperature)

1 cup of sugar

3 eggs

In a pinch on Thanksgiving Day? You're welcome!

Cheesecake pie, it’s what’s for breakfast.

Your prep time will be about 5 minutes and bake time is 30 minutes…

Pre-heat your oven to 350F. In a large mixing bowl and using a hand mixer, blend the cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Add eggs, one at a time, and don’t overblend. Pour cream cheese mixture into your pie crust. Bake for 30 minutes or until the top is slightly golden brown. The filling will be puffy and a bit jiggly but it will fall and settle as it cools. Allow to cool completely and refrigerate for a couple of hours. Serve plain or you can add any fruit, or even chocolate, topping.

I had a slice for breakfast and all I can say is, should you decide to make this, all will be right in your world:) And thank you, wise woman in Dollar General!

Bacon Cheesecake with an assist from The Bacon Goddess

Bacon cheesecake is fleeting.

Bacon cheesecake is fleeting.

This is a recipe for a bacon cheesecake. If you like bacon, and you like cheesecake, you’re welcome…

This recipe is a combination of 2 different recipes with elements coming from the Bacon Goddess and other elements coming from the Baby Screamin its Head Off in the Middle of the Night and Ruinin my Life Pie, which is also posted on my blog.

This was created for a Friday afternoon gathering at my place of employment. It went over well. I’m not going to pull your leg, this is damn good.

The Bacon!:

10-12 strips (about 1 lb.) of thick-cut bacon, as lean as possible

Prep:

Pre-heat your oven to 400F. Cover a sheet pan in tin foil. Lay out the strips on your sheet and make sure they aren’t touching. They’ll stick together and won’t cook. Bake  it 15-20 minutes or until it looks crisp. Remove from oven and place on a plate with paper towels on it so it can cool and crisp. Once cooled, put it into a food processor and pulse it a couple of times so you have your crumble. Set aside.

Set your bacon grease aside. You’ll need it for your crust.

The crust!:

2c (about 2 packages) of graham crackers

2tbsp brown sugar

4tbsp butter, unsalted and melted

2tbsp bacon grease

About 3 tbsp bacon crumble (this isn’t science, you can use your judgement)

Prep:

Set oven to 350F. Liberally grease a 9 inch spring form pan. Break up your graham crackers into food processor and blend until fine. Add sugar and mix. Add melted butter and bacon grease and blend until it looks coarse. Add bacon crumble and pulse until blended. Dump your mix into spring form and press along bottom and up the sides a bit. Place on center rack of oven for 8-10 minutes. Keep an eye on it, you don’t want to burn it. Remove from oven and let cool completely. It should be cooled by the time you’re ready to pour the filling.

Keep your oven at 350F…

The filling!:

I'm cute AND delicious!

I’m cute AND delicious!

32oz. (4 8 ounce packages) cream cheese at room temperature

1 3/4c white sugar

2 tbsp vanilla extract

5 eggs

1 egg yolk

3/4 of your remaining bacon crumble

Prep:

In a large mixing bowl, blend your cream cheese until smooth. Add sugar and vanilla and blend until smooth. Add bacon crumble and combine. Add one egg at a time to your mix and blend just until combined. Don’t over blend, you get too much air in your mix and the cheesecake will fall. Add yolk and blend until combined. Scrape the sided with a rubber spatula and blend to make sure your filling is mixed well.

Grease the side of your spring form above the crust line.

Pour your filling into the spring form.

On the bottom rack of your oven, place a pan with about an inch of water in the pan. This helps reduce the possibility of cracks in the side and top of your cheesecake.  Place your cheesecake on the rack above the water pan.

For the results I got, bake for 42 minutes at 350F. At 42 minutes, open your oven,  take your remaining bacon crumble, and spread evenly over the top of the cheesecake. Put back in oven and bake an additional 3 minutes.  By now, your cheesecake should be a golden brown around the edges.

Turn off oven and remove cheesecake. Run a thin knife around inner edge of spring form so cheesecake properly detaches from pan as it cools. Put it back in oven and leave the door cracked, about 40 minutes. This allows it to finish baking as its cooling. Remove and chill in fridge about 3 hours or until you are ready to eat one of the best desserts you’ll have in your life:)

Bacon Cheesecake2

Pie #49 – Halloween Pumpkin Cheesecake Pie

Our annual Halloween party is happening Friday. Each year, the Agency has a party with pumpkin carving, a bake-off, and costume contest. I’ve been a purple monster, a bunny with a black eye, a cow, and this year, my favorite animated character, Snoopy. I also baked a pie for the bake-off. Pie 49 is a Halloween Pumpkin Cheesecake pie. This recipe comes courtesy of You Want Pies With That? on blogspot. The creator of this recipe is Branny of Branny Boils Over. She won a pie contest with this recipe and I’m hoping to win as well. I’m hearing there’s nifty prizes:)

The crust!:

And the holiday season is here...

8 oz. Chocolate Teddy Grahams

4 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

Blend the Teddy Grahams in a food processor until fine. Add the butter and blend until joined. Pour into a 9.5 inch pie pan and, working from the center out, press along bottom and up sides of pan. Refrigerate until you’re ready to add the filling and cheesecake.
The filling!:

1 15oz. can packed pumpkin puree (I ended up using about 2 cans as there wasn’t enough for a 9.5 in. dish)

1/2 cup evaporated milk

3/4 cup brown sugar

1 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/8 tsp. ground cloves

1/4 tsp. salt

4 eggs

For the cheesecake (you’re going to have some leftover):

8 oz. cream cheese

1 egg

1 tsp. vanilla

1/2 cup white sugar

To make the pumpkin filling, beat the eggs and sugar. Add the spices, puree pumpkin, and evaporated milk. Whisk to combine.

To make the cheesecake filling, beat cream cheese with a mixer until softened. Add sugar and blend in egg. Add vanilla. Blend until smooth.

To assemble the pie: pour pumpkin filling into graham cracker crust. Pour cheesecake filling into a zip top bag and snip off end. Or if you have a piping kit, you can use that as well. To make the spider web design, lightly pipe concentric circles of cheesecake into the pumpkin filling. Using a clean knife, drag the blade of a knife from the outer edge of the pie towards the center, wiping the knife between drags.

Bake in a 300 degree oven for 60 minutes.

The pie looks good but I won’t be tasting this tonight.  It will wait unti the  finished product is presented at the bake-off. It’s a gamble. I’ll let you know if it worked out.

Until number 50…

Pie #38 – You Got Your Chocolate In My Peanut Butter™ Ice Cream Pie

So delicious it requires its own bib

I’m tired of the heat. As much as I definitely prefer heat to cold, I could (and I probably speak for Texas too) really use some cooler days. This week, I decided to make something easy, decadent and cold. My preferences aren’t in order. Pie 38 is an ice box pie (so no baking) and is called You Got Your Chocolate In My Peanut Butter ice cream pie. This is an evil-in-the-best-kind-of-way cold pie. Heat begone!

8 oz. chocolate wafer cookies (I used chocolate teddy grahams)

4 tbsp. butter

1 quart chocolate ice cream

1 quart reeses peanut butter cup ice cream

Dark chocolate for garnish

Set ice cream out of freezer to soften. Take 8 ounces of teddy grahams and put in food processor. Blend until fine. Take out a quarter cup to layer between ice cream layers. Melt your butter and add to remaining crumbs. Mix with a fork until blended. Press into bottom and up sides of  a 9 inch glass bottom pie pan. Place in freezer for a minimum of 15 minutes.

Remove the crust from freezer and spoon in softened chocolate ice cream into bottom of plate. Smooth and add your quarter cup of reserve crumbs on top. Place back in freezer for a minimum of 15 minutes.

Remove and spoon in your softened reeses peanut butter cup ice cream over chocolate ice cream layer. Grate chocolate bar over top for garnish.

I’ll be trying this with the kids when they get home. It will be yummy and is perfect for the hot summer days of August.

Pie #34 – Screwed Up Texan Creamy Watermelon Pie

Excessive melon-o-mania

The social committee at my place of employment decided that we needed to have a theme day at the office. Team spirit and all that. The Crew organized what is now dubbed in agency lore as “Wacky Watermelon Wednesday.”  You could win prizes for your creations, which was enticing:) They had individual categories for taste, as well as presentation. So, I decided to partake in this wacky theme day and brought to work, pie 34, the Screwed Up Texan Creamy Watermelon pie. Actually, I brought in two pies. And I won a $25 dollar gift certificate for the pies! It’s baby steps on my march to Top Chef Desserts masterdom.

This recipe is very simple and quick to make and is excellent on 100+ degree days, which we have a lot of in Texas right now.

I attribute the recipe to Allie which I found on her site, Confessions of a Screwed Up Texan. Really good stuff.

The crust!:

1 prepared graham cracker crust (I bought one original and one chocolate graham cracker crust for this exercise)

The filling!:

2 cups of cubed or balled watermelon chunks. Seedless watermelon is the way to go.

1 cup sugar

1 package cream cheese

1/2 cup sour cream

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

2 drops of red food coloring (optional)

2 cups prepared whipped cream for topping (you can also use cool whip which for ease of use is the direction I took)

In a large bowl, whip the sugar, cream cheese, sour cream, heavy whipping cream, and (optional) food coloring together until smooth and fluffy, about two minutes.

Using a spoon or rubber spatula, fold in watermelon.

Spoon mixture into the prepared graham cracker crust and top with whipped cream. Chill for at least one hour if possible or just eat right away.

Because I had to transport these from home to work, I didn’t spoon the whipped cream on the top of the pies until the contest Wednesday afternoon. It only added to the mystique:) The pie was very well received and I enjoyed it as well. The creamy mix and the texture and coolness of the watermelon worked very well together. The only downside for me was the pie “melted’ very quickly but no one seemed to mind. If you have leftover, it’s important to keep refrigerated.

Pie #31 – Strawberry Cream Pie

It’s a True Blood evening. Our friend Piph is coming over to watch it with Tammi. I don’t include myself in this as I don’t have much of an interest in the series. I’ll just do something else. But I did keep in a theme (sort of) for the show. Pie number 31 is a strawberry cream pie. Strawberries for the (tasty, delicious) bloody gore, and cream for these vampires silky complexions (until they fight and tear each other up). So saxy. I did this pie with a graham cracker crust. I don’t really have anything to tie into for the crust. Charring at first sunlight? Doesn’t sound very yummy. I don’t know. I don’t watch it, seriously.

The crust!:

16 -20 graham crackers

5 tbsp. butter, melted

3 tbsp. sugar

1/4 tsp. salt

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. In a food processor, blend the graham crackers until fine. Add butter, sugar and salt and mix until blended. In a 9 inch pie plate, spread the mixture along bottom and sides of pan. Bake for approx. 15 minutes. Transfer to wire rack and let cool.

The filling!:

Two (8 oz.) blocks cream cheese, softened

3 cups strawberries

1 tbsp. sugar

6 tbsp.  sugar

3 tbsp. corn starch

3 tbsp. confectioner powdered sugar

1/2 cup whipped cream

Place the sliced strawberries in a dish and sprinkle with 1 tbsp. sugar. Let sit for 30 to 60 minutes to make juice. Set aside 1/2 cup strawberries and juice for later.

Add the remaining berries and juice in a saucepan and add remaining sugar and the cornstarch. Set at medium low heat (don’t go too high, you could burn the berries) and simmer until berries break down and the mixture thickens, about 20 minutes. Let cool.

While strawberries simmer , beat together the cream cheese, reserved juice, powdered sugar, and whipped cream until smooth and creamy.

Place the set-aside strawberries in the bottom of the cooled pie crust. Spoon the cream cheese mixture on top of them, using a spatula or flat wooden spoon to smooth it out.

Pour the cooled strawberry sauce in the center of the pie and smooth out toward the edges with a flat wooden spoon. Top with more strawberries as desired. Chill for two hours and serve with whipped cream.

I had a bit of it before the steak-with-garlic dinner, and it is delish. It’s heavy on the creaminess. The taste of the strawberries is very sweet. I like it; it’s like jelly. The sweetness stays a while. Having it with a graham cracker crust is an extra added bonus. It’s a good one.